Tragic Murder Highlights Dangers of Technology-Facilitated Abuse and Coercive Control in Relationships
March 19, 2025
James's body was discovered in a bathroom at St Andrew's Cathedral School, where she worked as a water polo coach, showing severe head injuries.
Thijssen brutally attacked James with a hammer, leading to her death, which the coroner described as 'overkill'.
Prior to the incident, Thijssen engaged in digital stalking, tracking James's location through social media, which exemplified a form of technology-facilitated abuse.
Counsel assisting the NSW Coroner, Jennifer Single SC, noted that James showed no signs of danger before she entered the bathroom at 7:12 PM.
He had deliberately misled James into using a disabled toilet by moving a 'cleaning in progress' sign, which led her to the location where he had planned the attack.
After the murder, Thijssen remained in the bathroom for over an hour before taking his own life at Diamond Bay Reserve, evading responsibility for his actions.
Thijssen, who had been in a brief relationship with James, had stalked her multiple times following their breakup just five days prior to the murder.
Lilie James was tragically murdered by her ex-boyfriend Paul Thijssen, who had a history of controlling and manipulative behavior, as revealed in a recent coronial inquest.
Security footage captured Thijssen waiting outside the bathroom door with a hammer, listening to James before launching his attack.
The ongoing inquest aims to address broader issues of coercive control and unacceptable behavior in relationships to prevent similar tragedies in the future.
James's parents expressed their profound grief during the inquest, emphasizing the importance of teaching respect and consent to young men.
Witness testimonies revealed a pattern of escalating violence, including a significant incident where Thijssen shoved James just days before her death.
Summary based on 7 sources
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Sources

The Guardian • Mar 19, 2025
Chilling footage shows ex-boyfriend waiting outside bathroom with hammer before murdering Lilie James
The Guardian • Mar 20, 2025
Lilie James’ ex-boyfriend attempted to control, manipulate and gaslight her before murder, experts say
The Sydney Morning Herald • Mar 19, 2025
CCTV shows last minutes of Lilie James’ life
ABC News • Mar 20, 2025
Lilie James inquest releases vision showing killer rehearsing attack